She did not pick my calls. Neither did she return them.
Her face was in my head. Something was not right.
I got to the complex drove past her store. The doors were flung opened.
Finally, I get to see her, I thought.
Her faint smile betrayed her struggles.
Life was undoing her.
Shamed by these dreams.
She spoke about giving up on her childhood dreams.
She caved in to the idea that it was never meant to be hers.
She became afraid of championing the stage of the dream.
You see that day, I knew it wasn’t mere coincidence.
This meeting was not about her, God was dealing with me.
I got angry. ‘How can you throw all these away, you are being selfish?’
Harsh? But honestly that was my response.
Quietness.
That tug in heart reminded me, I was doing the very same thing!
I had real life battles of mine.
Afraid of the dream itself.
It seemed overwhelming impossible.
Every step felt huge and heavy dragging me to fall backwards.
My heart floundered.
But I know the dream. In fact, I penned it down, rehearsed the words and peeked into the script.
Disappointments made me scared to dream again.
Sometimes, Life will ask, if you really want those dreams.
It questions your tenacity
It tests your hunger for it
Nothing in life should make you give up hope.
A Hopeless Life is not worth Living
Just when I thought the word ‘Impossible’, I chose to dream again.
All the hardships we face teach our hearts patience, hope and courage.
Patience to wait.
Hope to have.
Courage to take.
All those aspirations began to be concrete one after the other.
Now I find myself stretching the dreams.
Are you afraid to dream?
Your failures should never threaten the faith you have.
I learnt during those times, not only does misery have company, it was drowning those dreams.
Don’t let worry and misery comfort you in hard times.
Are you afraid to dream again?
Do you think you will fall flat on your face again?
I dare say that, not dreaming at all is empty, aimless and purposeless.
Dreams wake you up in the morning.
Every air you draw in smells of fresh hope
They kiss your face with opportunities.
Hope is not to trust in yourself.
Hope is to trust in the dream-giver.
When you rely on ‘self’, you experience insufficiency.
Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; 2 Corinthians 3:5
You cannot hold up on your own. You can’t do life this way. It’s not going to function as it should.
O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:23
Every failed experience draws me to fully lay my trust in the Lord.
Think of all those years Abraham waited for the Child of Promise. Think about how each month each passing year must have felt.
Now compare with the fulfilment of the dream.
Those failed experiences made layers and layers of thick, sturdy faith. A faith that stood unshaken.
A faith in the God of the Dream
Trust in the Dream-giver.
Confidence in the God of Hope
Are you still afraid to dream?
Are you afraid your dream would get turned down again?
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. Romans 15:13
Look up to the One who has placed it in your heart.
Trust Him and Him alone.
Prayer
Dear Jesus, forgive me fo relying in myself…forgive me for ever thinking I could do this dream without you. Lord I surrender to you the God of Hope. I lift my hands up. Fill me with the courage I need to press on. Help me to see the dreams the way you see them ‘possible and achievable’. Thank you Jesus for the grace to move on and not give up in Jesus name Amen.