Why Wining Your Child’s Heart is A Big Deal!

Why Wining Your Child’s Heart is A Big Deal!

I am super excited to introduce you to my awesome friend and fellow laborer in the Kingdom, Melanie Redd. She has inspired in a more ways than she knows it and it is such an honor to have here with us.
Melanie writes…

The first story

Is the story of a boy who grew up in a
minister’s home. He was the youngest of 3 brothers. The minister father travelled
almost weekly to speak to groups around the globe. The sweet momma stayed home
to take care of the boys. During their growing up years, this youngest child
didn’t follow the path of the older two children.
He was more of a free spirit,
experimenting, testing, and trying out the things of the world. In high school,
he got in with the wrong crowd and began to drink, try all sorts of drugs, and
sleep around. 
He was quickly heading down a dangerous
path. All along, his ministry parents were almost clueless. They seemed to be
too busy or maybe just too naïve to notice this youngest boy’s progression down
the wrong path. Somehow they “missed” the signs and were quickly
losing this kid. In a final destructive act, the boy got in the car with
another friend–both high on some drug.
Their car crashed, and the boy was
tragically killed. We watched as those stunned parents tried to grapple with
what had taken place, still unaware of how lost and distant their youngest son
was at his death. They had never won their child’s heart or understood his
bent. And, they lost him completely at a very young age.

The second story
Is the story of a much more subtle
loss. This second boy was also born into a Christian home. His parents were
actively involved in the church and were devout in their faith. They took their
children to church, read the Bible as a family, and made sure that the kids
knew about Jesus.
However, this boy didn’t grow up with
much love. His parents did all of the right things but didn’t enjoy raising
their children. They didn’t seem to like playing with and hanging out with
their children. They were busy, professionals who had “more important”
things on which to focus.
This second boy grew up feeling
unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. His needs were provided for, but he never
felt accepted by his parents. He grew up being cared for but never really
feeling deeply loved. Adulthood found him empty and at a loss, in need of much
counsel and affirmation.
Although this second boy never
rebelled, he really struggled to understand how to love others. He had to learn
to accept the love of God. His journey was a tough one. The parents NEVER TRIED
to win the heart of this second boy. And, as an adult, he wanted nothing to
do with them.
The Big Deal
The danger of losing your child’s heart
is that they will grow up and not want to be around you. 
  • They will leave your house at about age 18 and
    not want to return again. 
  • They will have children of their own, and not
    want to bring those babies to see you.
  • Or, they will politely spend time with you,
    but keep their hearts protected and their conversations shallow.
If you do not win and keep their hearts as little
children, you will not enjoy them as they mature and grow older. They
will grow up and leave you–physically, emotionally, and in every other way.

The real and ultimate DANGER
Is that you never even realize you’ve lost their hearts until it is TOO
So, how are you doing as a
As I close, I ask you to consider, pray over, and
answer some honest questions by taking an assessment.
Choose one answer to each question:
1} Do you really have your children’s hearts? All of them?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
2} Is there open communication with your kids?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
3} If I were to question each of your
children, would they tell me that they feel deeply loved by you?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
4} Do you think your kids enjoy being raised in your home?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
5} Is there joy and laughter in your home?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
6} Would your kids say that you value them and see them as worthy of
your time and attention?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
7} Do you think your children will want to come back to see you when
they are grown?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
8} If your kids are “away” from you right now, have you been
praying for God to bring them back?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
9} If they are away, are you seeking to build a bridge with them again?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
10} For all parents, are you praying for God to give you the hearts of
your children?
__ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ Doesn’t Apply
*Now, tally up your score by looking back
to see which answer got the most check marks:
___ Yes ___ No ___ Maybe ___ Doesn’t
Most of us have some work we can do as parents!
None of us is perfect at parenting or has it all figured out.
Prayer is the very best thing you and I can do to begin to build or
rebuild a relationship with each of our children.
Also, we have created a new resource for parents that you may find very
practical and helpful.
It’s a new book/group study that you can read and complete on your own,
as a couple, or in a small group setting.

It’s called, “How
to Win Your Child’s Heart For Life.”
You can discover more about this new resource by clicking HERE to go to

Melanie Redd Profile shot
Melanie’s passion is to offer HOPE! She wrote
curriculum for Lifeway for over 10 years before launching her own writing and
speaking ministry. 

Melanie is the author of three books and hosts an
inspirational blog at www.melanieredd.com. Married to Randy for over 25 years; the couple
enjoys travel, golf, eating out, and hanging out with their two college-aged kids.  
Pinterest | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter 
  • Thank you so much for this blog. Really thought provoking especially for us who so active in ministry and work. God bless you

  • Thank you for this grace-filled post! I think we all need this reminder from time to time. Thanks for sharing this at Booknificent Thursday on Mommynificent.com!

  • Great post, Ifeoma, and adding the questionnaire was a great idea! Thank you so much for sharing this at Coffee and Conversation…we'll be featuring it at tomorrow's party!

  • I'm in the throes of raising 2 teenagers and the question of whether or not I have their hearts is what compels me to pursue them with purpose. It isn't easy but prayer centers and energizes me for the journey. I'm grateful to have the encouragement of your reminder. So happy to meet you through the linkup at #GiveMeGrace

  • Thank you, Melanie and Ifeoma! Two ladies who have a special place in my heart! This book is such a helpful tool for any patent! It is filled with so much truth. I pray my children's hearts will always be drawn near to us. That they know they are loved beyond measure! Thank you for sharing this hope alongside me at #MomentsofHope!

  • This is so important! It something I have tried to work on over the years with my son, since I didn't have it while growing up. Thank you Ifeoma for having Melanie share this, I needed the reminder and encouragement. Thanks for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.

  • I love the questions at the end. It truly gives a bigger perspective for ourselves. Great post. It's a great reminder to us parents to give more quality attention to our children and how much it truly affects their future.

  • I have seen this post in Link Parties a few times and just skipped over it because I was sure it didn't affect me. I thought, "of course I have their hearts, I am their mother." But you have given me a lot to think about here. I can see where I need to take more time to PLAY. Thanks for sharing!

  • It's so important for kids to feel valued and loved. Thanks for this.

  • Gaining, having, and holding the hearts of our children really is important. I know this is something I sometimes struggle with as I am working to figure out this motherhood/parenting gig, yet I do see that my littles really know me. They know and desire me more often than not, which is great because it helps me to remember and to know that all my efforts aren't done in vain and I am gaining their hearts. 🙂

  • What sad stories…I cannot imagine. But there are lessons to be learned by us.

    These are GREAT questions for everyone to think about! I enjoyed going through them this morning. Thank you for putting them together!

  • Those two stories are tragic. I thank God that my non-Christian parents–imperfect as they were– did so much right that we have a close knit, happy family today. This is a good reminder to me to invest in my kids too. Pinning this, Melanie and Ifeoma! Such an important message.

  • Your two examples were sad, and your admonition to be a part of your children's lives is what they will remember. My dad was busy working, but I can remember my mother visiting my school class room, and also being there for all performances I was involved in. As parents, we look back and think, "I could have done so much more than I did." Thank you Ifeoma for sharing Melanie with us here at Tell me a Story.

  • Hi Melanie! Winning your child's heart is so important. I found the two scenarios to both be so telling. MY sons are grown but what I know is that nurturing our children takes a lifetime. I don;t stop now that they are creating their own lives and either getting married or already married. Being a parent is life long. Good luck with your book.

    • 8 years ago

    Excellent and sobering reminder! Thank you for sharing with us on the Art of Home-Making Mondays at Strangers & Pilgrims on Earth!

  • Wow. You must be really friends because you're both inspiring women.
    Birds of the same feathers. 😉

    Thanks for sharing Melanie's story.

  • Praying for the hearts of our children is one of the most important roles we have as parents. Even though both my daughters are out of the house and on their own, I continue to pray for them. I miss my mother not being here to still be praying for me! Thanks for sharing this resource today.

  • Thank you, Ifeoma! It's a joy to join you today on your blog!
    I sure am blessed by you and by your ministry.
    Praying God will bless you on the launch of your new book~

  • Ifeoma, I'm loving these author profiles you are doing! Thanks for getting the word out.
    Praying for you and the launch of your new book!

Leave feedback about this

  • Quality
  • Price
  • Service


Add Field


Add Field
Choose Image
Choose Video