You never know how much hurt many wives endure until your head and heart is deep in their stories. We have been hurt one way or the other. I confess I have too, friend.
The hurt for many wives may be deliberate and at other times unconsciously husbands leave wounds and we struggle in our heart to heal.
Marriage is hard work and involves you and your husband. When a wife is hurting, then the home would be sick too!
For my one friend, she was so deep in hurt. Her hubby’s adultery had driven her nuts *literally*. That sort of wound needs God’s grace overflowing in the heart of the hurt wife. She packed her bags and was keen on calling it quits.
She was done, my heart knew it well.
That call froze me.
There is no telling how you would react another woman’s shoes.
You never know what you are capable of
especially when those
shoes aren’t yours!
The situation was out of control. The words were not spewing out, my thoughts were blank, and I turned white with the flush of anger over my face.
I asked her to take a deep breath and let’s think about her decision.
Then, I hung up.
I confess was struggling to forgive him for her… if that makes any sense.
The best I came up with was more angry bouts. Lord, help me! I am so weak. I was supposed to be strong for her but my heart was not holding up.
Poor me!
Finally, I called up my hubby. He was calm *totally*. We prayed together and asked for wisdom to help a hurting friend.
You won’t believe what he told me…ask her to write “God Bless You” and place all the evidence she had on the bed.
This can’t be happening. There was no show down going to happen…at least. May be I had been prepared for that sort of stuff!
God’s way can look foolish to us humans.
But we were going with it all the same. We spoke to her prayed for strength to go on.
By the evening, he was home. He read those words and broke down.
That message saved the marriage…Praise God!
What those words meant to my friend’s hubby I can’t tell but they were louder, more powerful than we imagined.
What is your story?
How is hurt wrecking the peace in your home?
Choosing forgiveness is hard especially when it is on the corridors of adultery, painful words by your spouse, neglect or otherwise.
May be your hubby’s anger is becoming uncontrollable or his entanglement with sin or his life with gaming and gambling and it hurts you deeply.
Or may be it’s your past or your entanglements that is hurting you?
Friend, you can’t help yourself without first choosing forgiveness.
Not tidying up your unforgiveness, resentment and anger towards him and what hurts you in your marriage would drive more divide in your home and wreck your peace.
Friend, putting this in words isn’t easy for me as a wife to other wives. I hope you understand you are not alone with the hurt you are going through.
The best we can do for other wives is to pray along with them and for their homes.
We are able to give comfort to others because we at some time in our lives have also received comfort… The Lord comforts our hearts.
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2 Corinthians 1:4
If you are going through domestic violence, then you have to do something about it immediately before it is too late! Gal you’ve got to speak up and seek help!
Frankly, you and I have watched many sisters
battle with their own personal hurt. Things may not look so good from where you
are now but prayers are a great way to start the journey towards healing.
7 Scriptures To Comfort Your Aching Heart
Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
Isaiah 51: 12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall
die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Psalm 119: 50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.
Roman 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.
*We are reminded in Isaiah 43:2 that the Lord is there with us when we are going through these situations. But here are a few healing steps to help you…
5 Healing Steps You can take
1. What is the source of your hurt? Identify what the problem is. It should not come as a surprise sometimes we are angry or hurt for the wrong reasons. Our perceptions may be misleading.
2. Don’t take little conversations for granted. Learn from your small and quiet conversations. Conversations are a way to help you know your spouse better and help you express your feelings gently . Make sure you understand what he is saying and you are not interpreting something else. It may save you from future heart aches.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up
anger. Proverbs 15:1
Choose your words carefully no matter how hard it is. When you both angry your discussion could go out of hand.
3. Speak to a godly and wise girl friend you trust. Sisters should cover each other’s back. Yup! One of such blessings from sisterhood friendships is our authenticity- Speaking the truth to a friend even when it
hurts.
4. Tackle loneliness and emptiness. If you feel lonely in your marriage, don’t shut yourself out.
5.
Prayers
and fellowship; There are a few prayers below to
help you below. I pray you find healing, peace and testimony in the midst of
what you are going through.
7 Prayers for the Wife Who Feels Hurt
1. Dear Lord, my soul is weary and tired. I have been carrying this burden for too long. I lay it down at your feet. It is too much of a weight to bear. Father, I lay it all down. Lord, you formed me, you know my
frame, my thoughts my weakness and you know every bit of my story, my fears, my past and my worries. Dear Jesus, my heart feels like it is dashed in many pieces, right now… Words may not describe how hurt I am or how I feel. But I am in desperate need for you, Jesus, make me whole again.
2. Help me to focus on you. Help my gaze to keep steady on you. The chaos of life, the disappointments, all the hurtful words and those hard days, heal my heart Lord. Walk this road with me and help me through this. Give me the grace, the strength to forgive whoever has offended me and be brave to confront whatever I need to. 3. Lord take away every hardness in my heart. Remove that stony heart and give me a heart of flesh. Give me wisdom dear Lord to handle situations, wisdom to know what to say, how and when to say it. Give me a kind, loving and forgiving heart. (Ezekiel 36:26)
4. Lord my husband’s heart is in your hand. I pray for his choices, his decisions and his temperament. Meet him in all areas where he needs you. Make him the man after your heart and make him a godly man who cares for his home, his family, and for me his wife. Turn his heart in my favor. (Proverbs 21:1)
5. Father, breathe your peace over my life, my home, my all. Settle me on every side. Over power and over turn all the lies of the enemy. Let the handwriting of pain, hurt and bitterness over my marriage, my home, my life be blotted out by the blood of Jesus. Every crack in my marriage, home and life be sealed up right now by the Blood of Jesus. Let your mercy triumph over all accusations of the enemy in Jesus name. (Colossians 2:14)
6. Nothing else matters than to remain in your presence. Quiet my heart, Lord Jesus. Mold me, build me and let me grow in your presence to be a better person for you Lord, for my family and for the saints. Bring forth a testimony from this situation and make my story be a source of encouragement to those around in Jesus name. (Isaiah 64:8)
7. Jesus, I thank you for the restoration you are giving me. I thank you for the victory in the name of Jesus. I am grateful for everything and everyone you have placed in my life. In you, I have
victory over all.
Lastly, we are committed to helping each other in this community and that’s our goal.
Feel free to share your story … even if it is anonymously done, we understand. Let your words gracefully encourage other women who are also hurting.
By His Great Grace,
Ifeoma Samuel.
