When Envy Threatens Your Relationships

by IFEOMA SAMUEL

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. James 3:16

Comparison breeds envy. It is a deadly trap. There will always be those envious of us. There will be those who long to have the breathe we draw in the very life we live. Jonathan was nothing like his father. He had deep admiration for David while Saul had envy that sprout into hatred and an intoxicating desire to kill. We have seen this in previous

Can you admire someone without being envious?

When ENVY Threatens your good relationships is part of the month long studies on Cultivating Faithfilled Friendships. Here learn about....
#settingboundaries 
#broken trust 
intervening for those who hurt us
 and recovering from its disappointments.

More Bible Readings

 1 Kings 4 Two women. Two babies. One room. One accident would reveal the condition of an envious heart.

Numbers 16 They were brothers. They were family. They served in the same priesthood. Dathan, Korah and Abiram, their heart of envy and bitterness. The danger of hanging out with such people is their calamity would soon become yours and like the two hundred and fifty men who died along with them.

Envy erodes true essence and beauty of friendship

Interceding for Those Who Hurt Us

We are human… we will pray for those we love and would return care to those who we consider are friends. Jesus knew our flaws. He knew the human frame can be selfish and many times unyielding.

Bible Reading: Numbers 12:1-15, Luke 6:27-29

Do you quickly move past those verses that remind you to pray for those who hate you and despitefully use you? We have a choice to either do it God’s way or choose our path.

It is hard to forgive a friend that has offended more so when you have trusted them.

Here’s what I mean, Moses must have felt hurt and betrayed when his wife Zipporah came under fire from his own siblings Miram and Aaron. When God decides to reply them, it became a case of leprosy and ousting from the camp. A man so meek and gentle, Moses began to intercede on Miriam’s behalf.

Lesson 1: God will always fight for His own. When He does, the enemy is in trouble. He knows what the gossip was about. He knows those who fuelled it. God knows the pain they caused you. Now you know, He is going to fight for you without you lifting a finger.

Lesson 2: Miriam was in pain, social outcast, a disgraced women’s leader, a shamed woman. Moses felt sorry for her and began to intercede.

Can you intercede for that friend who has turned foe?

Bible teachings are far from the worldly standards. If we must be Christians then we should be willing to follow the Word precept on precept.

Hard? Huh? May God give us the grace to live just like Christ in Jesus name. Amen

When Boundaries are Necessary

Bible Reading: Genesis 13:1- 10, 1 Samuel 25:38

Let’s examine Mentor Uncle, Abraham and his nephew, Lot. Lot went quiet when rivalry between his shepherds and his uncle’s began. Sometimes people we call family and friends hurt us. You may have invested in these relationships but they may not see reasons to return kindness.

What if Lot exercised control over the situation? But we hear nothing. Not until his uncle decides to set the boundaries. He opted for distance to avoid stifling their Uncle-nephew relationship. Let’s take a cue from Abraham. Relationships need some boundaries.Setting boundaries is not a bad thing when the purpose is pure and clear.

If it be possible, as much as lies within you, live peaceably with all men Romans 12:18

There are always going to be troublesome people, people who feast on trouble. Don’t be afraid to give some space in your friendship especially when you foresee frictions. Notice how Abraham set boundaries, when he spoke with Lot. He discussed the matter from the position of wisdom.

Have you ever given a hand and expected kindness in return but instead you got a nasty response? You are not alone!

While on the run, David’s hideout in the field brought him in close contact with Nabal’s shepherd men. They protected the shepherds and their animals. There was a possibility of budding relationship with Nabal. David had extended a hand of fellowship got an insult in return.

When the hand of fellowship isn’t mutual,how do you respond ?

Lesson 3: Our expectations are often disappointed especially when we set them too high. We live in a fallen world and man isn’t perfect. People in the world are selfish and self seeking.

Lesson 4: Forgiveness should be at the forefront of our heart in every relationship. Were it not for the wisdom of Abigail, Nabal would have made David soil his hands. There are crazies everywhere give reasonable boundaries, forgive, let go and move on.

Recovering from Broken Trust in Friendship

I am privileged to mentor a few women and one of the frequent comments I receive borders around learning to trust after series of life disappointments.

Disappointments are a real part of life, so is trust and commitment.

Every time I come across this scripture, “Jesus didn’t commit himself unto them, because he knew all men” John 2:24

It shows how undependable the human race is.

Have you lost faith in friends or given up on relationships?

Have you been hurt by people who claimed to be sisters?

Here’s a freeing truth you should know.

We, humans are fallible, God is not.

We cannot be trusted, only God can be.

We make awful lot of mistakes God never does.

We break promises and fail to keep covenants but our Heavenly Father is no truce breaker.

We change our minds too easily even at the slightest conviction without verification. We humans are all too easily deceived but God can neither be deceived nor is He gullible.

Now you see humans aren’t the problem. The problem is trusting in the human flesh instead of God.

When we depend on God He brings people in due season. We should also trust God for the lives of friends and relatives. He reveals intentions and makes known that which is hidden.

Whether they are foes that misrepresent themselves as closest friends, or loyal companions or once loyal friends that have turned their backs on us, God knows what we humans are capable of. Trusting God, protects our hearts. Trusting God will help us forgive and move past hurt easily.

Trusting God allows us have less expectation on people.

Trusting God will let us see blessings in people, He brings our way.

When they wrong us, we learn life lessons.

When we are offended we learn to forgive.

When we know we are loved, and embrace it, we grow in love and continue to give love too.

Have you ever entrusted your heart to someone only to find you were deceived by the words and actions?

Anyone who easily exploits your weakness is toxic. Toxic friends seek their own benefits before yours. Further study the encounter between Dinah and the Prince of Shechem in Genesis 34.

Journal Reading

What lessons have you learnt here?

Re-examine your friendships are they godly?

Four Steps To Help You Recover From Broken Trust

*Trusting God protects your heart even in relationships Micah 7:5

*Set Boundaries.

*Choose your friends carefully.

*Be intentional in nurturing your friendships. Be friendly as you will continue to meet people in life. Sow seeds you will love to reap tomorrow.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. Psalm 1:1

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