How To Handle Difficult Friendships: Betrayals

Betrayals and hurt are a real part of life's journey.
Discover six Biblical Steps You Can take today.
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Bible Reading: Psalm 35, 2Samuel 15:12-31, 2 Samuel 16:23, Romans 12:17-21

She was pregnant and found out her friend had been saying lots of tales about her. She wept and cried sore. Not at this time. She told all their friends stories. Half true. Poorly painted. A tainted image. Defeated too powerless to fight.

Surely she was numbed by the pain. As she shared her story with me, it felt as real as it was 10 years ago. The bitter taste still lingered.

When a person turns her heart away from what is true, uniquely beautiful friendship breaks down allowing evil to sip into the relationship

The enemy hates thriving relationships. He knows the potentials that lie in strong Christian alliances. Impure thoughts and attitudes unknowingly open doors to competition, rivalry, betrayal, backstab, gossip, undercutting, broken promises, soured business relationships, broken marriages, even murders and suicides. The church is not left out…with pastors and other stewards failing the trust of members and members hurting each other leaving more wounded than healed people in our congregation.

Journal Reflections

Is it possible to have toxic friends and not know?

How can you tell the people if your friends are not who they claim to be?

How can you tell the intentions of their hearts?

I wrote this a while ago, When friends Hurt You deeply

Dealing with Betrayals

We have examined David and his wise counsellor, Ahitophel. A friend is known by his counsel. This man has always being loyal to David being on his side for a very long time. We may never understand how an influential wise counsellor in Israel would turn his back against King David.

David narrates his pain to God. He pours out his heart in pain and grief.

Journal Reflections

What did David do instead of confronting Ahithophel directly?

People will hurt us but how we respond matters. Whether or not we are able to heal or we allow ourselves to heal is our choice.

Sometimes we allow the hurt and pain shape our ideas, dictate how we treat others and how we respond to circumstances. Sadly, many of us often choose that above what God’s Word says.

Journal Reflection

Vengefulness, malice, unforgiveness, bitterness what have you allowed to take control of how you treat others?

David had some of his trusted people betray him. He found strength to soar above these circumstances. He made important decisions to protect his home. I learnt a thing or two from these scriptures. He didn’t go about reporting to people neither did he take up his sword in his defence.

Betrayed? SIX Steps To Take

1.He went straight to God.

Betrayals are deep. Lament. Hot tears. But first, God. Not people, not sympathisers but first Jesus.

2.He allowed God Fight for him

Do you always jump straight into the thick of matters and fight for yourself? Life is unfair but God is a righteous judge. Our eyes can only see this much, above our noses. His eyes see both the physical, the intentions, the past, the future and eternal. And God has the best plans for us even in difficult situations.

3.He examined himself first:

He asked God to judge him first if he had done something wrong. That is a hard prayer. Sometimes we don’t want to take responsibility for our own wrong actions. It is human nature to want to blame it on someone else: ask Adam and Eve. We tend to forget we have our own role in broken relationships.

Join me as we pray this hard prayer…

Lord show me “my wrong”… open my eyes to see where I have erred… lead me in the path of truth. 

4.David kept the Word.

When Saul tried severally to hurt him, he remembered Saul was an anointed king. He refused to soil his hands. He said touch not my anointed do my prophets no harm. Saul had been anointed regardless of the path he chose, David respected the anointing on his head. Even so-called anointed ministers, friends or family members will hurt you but stand right with the truth.

5.He had support from other friends.

You and I need a Support system. Hushai (2 Samuel 15:32) and also Jonathan (1 Samuel 20) were supports for David in such a trying time.

6.Confront With the truth:

David knew Saul had evil intended for him, 1 Samuel 23:9 but he still showed his enemy mercy, 1 Samuel 23:24, He still gave Saul Honour as a King. As usual David invited God into their matter, 1 Samuel 24: 7-16

If confrontation is unavoidable, show the friend you the truth about their actions and how they hurt you. Dont bring up irrelevance or unrelated from the situation. Seek to build a bridge not a wall. Seek peace. Luke 17:3, Mathew 5:23-24

But bear in mind, they may or may not agree with you. You free your heart from bitterness and unforgiveness when you do it God’ s way. If agreement is not reached move on with a free heart.

Write the changes you are willing to make starting today. Pray for God’s help through these changes.

1 thought on “How To Handle Difficult Friendships: Betrayals”

  1. Dear Ifeoma,
    Thank you for these precious Scriptural Truths. So often we feel that we need to defend ourselves before we let God be our defense. He is the ONE who can fully understand the lamenting of our heart, and He does know how to guide us through the difficulties. I am so thankful that He will make all things right when we are there with Him. Even if the brokenness remains while here, those wounded and broken relationships will be restored when we are in His Presence. Blessings and love to you this Easter Week!

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