For the Mom Who Doesn’t Feel Beautiful Anymore!

“I don’t feel beautiful anymore”.

“I look older, unkempt so not like I used to be”.

I have heard those lines. In fact, as recent as a few days ago. May be you’ve uttered them too.

I know a few moms who devout time to care for themselves. I mean, take out valuable time to pour their beauty processes on themselves. I still know more women who never have the time, money or effort to do likewise.

When all the makeup washes away you stare at the mirror bare, the true definition of beauty is revealed.

The battle with contentment, beauty, insecurities and self-esteem begin.

Quite frankly, I have been on both sides of this coin.

I know what it feels like to be out of sort.

Then one day I dropped it all.

It is all a game…a crazy one where no one wins.

A mom of one, two, three or more starts to feel less and less beautiful. Conundrum of life’s puzzle.

First, what the world tells her constantly. Then, what her friends look like, or is it her family’s opinion about her person and/or may be her husband’s tease.

Then she looks in the mirror and can only see stretch marks and varicose veins, her tummy size, flattening bosoms Like chipping off the wooden block, they gradually scrape bits and pieces with sharp edged lies. 

Then, she seeks affirmation about her physical look.

She worries about her inadequacies and locks herself away.

The old comparison demon walks in and takes a seat. 

 

You can’t beat the world in it’s own insane game! This beauty it celebrates never lasts. Everyday, we age. We get fine wrinkles here and there. Our skin begins to give way to natural life causes.

Is that the kind of beauty you want?

That’s the world…that’s all the noise of fancy boutiques, Super models, beauty shops …you name it.

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Dear mom who has stopped feeling beautiful there is a True Beauty that outlives you.

It is the kind your family, your community remembers long after you are gone.

If the Bible says beauty is vain, does it not imply that our hearts need to focus on something more important?

Worldly Beauty fades but True Beauty continually radiates.

 

To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on. Esther 1:11

That’s what Vashti missed. She thought the Kingdom would halt at her decision. She wanted a bow, a wow, and probably bend their knees to have her come out of her chambers.

Esther had the same gift of Beauty but she knew who she was.

A Queen and not a Beauty Piece.

Esther knew she was more than her facials, contours, gait etc.

The alluring beauty that is projected to us, is all false, deceptive and lacks substance because it’s not the really thing.

 

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Mom you are important and what makes you beautiful is beyond the selfie on instagram or facebook.

Your beauty is in your craft, in your service, in your care and love.

Your Beauty is in your sacrifices, both seen and unseen.

Your Beauty is in your endurance and tenacity even in very difficult times.

Your Beauty lies in the character, you graciously carry.

Beauty is all of that wrapped inside of you.

Beauty is who you are inside out.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Can it be measured by mere outward judging of another human eyes? No!

For the Mom who feels she is not beautiful, pay attention to the scale in which you measure yourself.

You may have to get yourself a new yardstick.

A new mascara, or designer dresses, or custom-made shoes, or tight abs doesn’t make for true beauty.

Mascara doesn’t hold when the mid wives says ‘PUSH’, nor does the shoes help when you make rounds at night checking all the little ones. Oh and that little designer dress would have to be kept aside in the kitchen.

Dear mom, all those can’t measure how much sacrifice you have done in the home.

You have poured out love unconditionally.

That’s divine.

Every day you click re-set button to begin your role as you have always done.

That is precious

You serve your family wholeheartedly.

That is ministering.

You serve the Lord in all.

You are Beautiful inside out and that’s enough.

8 Simple Tips For Every Mom

  1. Celebrate being you, everyday. Be thankful for where you are right now
  2. Exercise, walk out eat healthy.
  3. Redefine what beauty means. What the Word says about beauty. 
  4. Don’t sweat on all the small stuff. Don’t obsess over the weighing scale
  5. Be kind to your body. Take at least 10 minutes a day to care for your body.
  6. Be gracious to your mind. Spend sometime flipping through pages of a good book. Care for your mind too.
  7. Pay attention to your spiritual well-being. 
  8. Your wardrobe and sense of style may need to change. Ask for help!

Prayer: Dear Lord, tech my heart to rest in the true beauty that lies within. Teach me to focus on what matters in Jesus Name. Amen.

33 thoughts on “For the Mom Who Doesn’t Feel Beautiful Anymore!”

  1. Dear Ifeoma,
    These are such beautiful words–words that need to be spoken more often in today’s world! Thank you so much for sharing truth from your heart. I pray that these sink in deeply to the hearts of young women who read them, because we all need to be reminded where our true beauty lies! Blessings to you!

  2. Dear Ifeoma … for some reason, your posts haven’t been showing up in my reader. No wonder I haven’t been by to say ‘hi!’ I figured you weren’t writing any more!

    sigh.

    Anyway, it’s good to be here again, to read your words, to see that you’re alive and well and sharing great thoughts.

    I hope your day’s a good one …

  3. Oh how you have encouraged me today Ifeoma! I so wish your graphic was a PDF…that would be an awesome reminder for all of us moms to post in a prominent place. Our hidden beauty is more pronounced and visible than we realize!

  4. I NEEEDED this. Less than 24 hours ago I was beating up my selfie as I tried to post something inspirational on SC. Esther’s is an amazing comparison. Thank you for this. #Salt&Light

  5. This is delightful encouragement, Ifeoma. I love the spiritual inspiration you’re giving us to redefine beauty and ALSO the practical reminders. 🙂 During the child-raising years, it’s so easy to forget about ourselves, neglect ourselves, and that doesn’t help anyone! I always think if I spend just a few minutes each day with self-care, I’ll be a better mom and wife.

  6. I so enjoyed this post. All of these things are true, but how easy it is to forget them, especially in the age of perfect selfies. Many of my friends post perfect selfies of themselves on social media but I know how they really look. They actually have the same lines that I have…Sadly, I still forget that at times and wonder why I don’t look as good. I’m (slowly) learning to accept that there is an aging process that will happen. Maybe it’s because I’m only 35, but I’m finding the first little lines to be hard to accept.

  7. Ifeoma,
    Thank you so much for the reminders of Truth you share here. How true that sacrifice is filled with beauty and no one knows how to sacrifice quite like a mom. I needed this reminder that beauty is not what the mirror says, but what God says about me and to me.
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

  8. Amen, sister. A truth I need to hear, friend. I’ve always both loved and hated the fact that I look so much younger than my age, but the last couple of years I’m seeing the wrinkly signs of being in my mid-forties. And I think I want it both ways. I want the wisdom of being older without the wrinkles. It doesn’t quite work like that, does it? 🙂 “Beauty is who you are inside out.” Lovely words today, Ifeoma. Thank you. 🙂 ((xoxo))

  9. Thanks for this encouragement to see ourselves through different eyes, Ifeoma. I’m guilty of judging myself too harshly for my lack of physical beauty. As I age, I’m less satisfied with my body. But you speak truth: “If the Bible says beauty is vain, does it not imply that our hearts need to focus on something more important?” Blessings to you!

  10. So grateful for your encouragement, Ifeoma. As I get older, I do become less pleased with my appearance. May I focus on the inner beauty as that will be what is remembered by my children and grandchildren. Blessings to you!

  11. Ifeoma, what a great reminder that even when you don’t feel beautiful, you are! We all are! And thank you for your 8 tips, I especially like number 1. Thanks your beautiful words and thanks for linking up with #TuneInThursday this week. See you next time!

  12. You must have been listening in to my complaints last night about my aging body. Great post. I feel like I have been spending so much time lately on embracing all of the unexpected which as come our way that I have not taken good care of me. When I looked in the mirror, I saw only the negative. I need to look again and see what God sees. Thank you for your post.

  13. Ifeoma, thank you so much for this beautiful affirmation of where our true beauty lies! With my aging body I have definitely had feelings of anything but beauty. Your words have encouraged me this morning!

    Many blessings to you, dear beautiful sister. xoxo

  14. The world says loud and proud is beautiful. The Bible says a gentle and quiet spirit is beautiful. If only more women would strive to please God rather than man.

    I can relate to your post since I’m a 41-year-old mama of three. The fading of physical beauty is a bit depressing, but beauty from the inside out is far more important and lasting. Thanks for linking up your encouragement at the #LMMLinkup!

  15. Thanks so much for sharing. I have 5 kids and it seems very difficult to be able to spend much time on myself. I often don’t even like to think of myself as beautiful. I often avoid being on a picture because I don’t like how I look. Though it’s not always a good thing to focus on looks. I am always self concise especially when I am around cameras.

  16. Hi Ifeoma! Thank you for linking up at Mommy Moments last week! This was the top viewed link and will be featured in the link up this week. Congratulations!

  17. Love your tips to help us focus on our inner beauty. This is so powerful and such a great reminder. Thanks for sharing this, Ifeoma!

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