Why Do Marriages Get Stuck in Survival Mode? By Sue Detweiler

Hello lovely friends. I am so thrilled having Sue Detweiler author of “Traits of Life-Giving Marriage“. 
Wayne and Sue Detweiler

In this post, Sue shares lovely words that can save marriages and encourage your heart. 

Sue offers a short free eBooklet >>Click Here to Download<<< and a beautiful Vlog all courtesy of Sue Detweiler. 

Hurry over to buy her new book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts

Sue Writes….

If you have
been married for more than a week, I’m
certain you’re aware that your marriage is not

No marriage relationship is.
And regardless
of how wonderful or terrible your marriage may seem right now, I’m also certain that you are aware of
ways it could be better, healthier, stronger, and more loving.

We all desire
to see positive changes in our relationships. We all want to be built up,
encouraged, and empowered to live life to the fullest.
so many marriage relationships limp along at less than life-giving; worse yet
are the relationships that actively drain the life out of one or both partners.
You may know
someone in a hurting marriage; you may even be that person.
And maybe,
fearful of what others will think of your imperfect life, you’re hiding that pain from your family
and friends.
You think to
yourself, “Suck it up,” or “Hang in there until the kids are grown,” or “Nobody’s marriage is perfect; this is just
the way life is.” You think, if you try harder, you can just make it work.
ways Wives and Husbands can Show Acceptance to their spouses
the fact that God made you and your spouse differently empowers you to honor
each other’s unique roles and characteristics.
Despite your differences, you both bear the Creators likeness.
In moments of
desperation, God taught me the value of acceptance in marriage
essential trait of a life-giving marriage allows us to love and honor our
spouse’s God-given nature.
Every human
being is woven together by God in a unique way. You can either magnify your
spouse’s weaknesses, thereby causing strife
with your scrutiny, or you can accept who God made them to be.
It’s important to embrace
the way God has made your spouse.
It is also
helpful to accept how God has made you. Understand that the way you two work
and live and love together may not be the same as any other couple’s relationship.
 Sue Speaks…(a special video for my awesome readers)

Rescued My Marriage?
Wayne and me, we need to overcome destructive patterns of relating and learn a
new way to relate.
learned a lot from the following study:
For more than thirty-five years, Dr.
John Gottman and his team have studied marriages. As a research scientist, he
uses rigorous methods and standards respected by medical science. The data he
s gathered gives a scientific glimpse
into the anatomy of a marriage.
the family research laboratory, aka “the love lab,”
Gottmans team uses instruments to measure the
heart rates of couples during conflict-filled conversation. They record the discussion
and analyze the facial responses. During a ten-year study, with a ninety-one
percent accuracy rate, they were able to predict which couples would divorce.
couples whose marriages were not doing well often began disagreements with a
harsh tone.
the scientists watching would observe what Dr. John Gottman labeled as “The Four Horsemen.”
Four negative styles of behavior are
lethal to a marriage and could lead to a chaotic end.
I am sure you want to read the rest of this article.>>Click Here to Download<<

Get the free PDF short ebooklet that contains:

>>>Four Negative Behaviors Lethal to Marriage
>>>For the Spouse Stuck with Woundedness and Unforgiveness
the Spouse Who is Discouraged 
>>Click Here to Download<<

About the Author
Sue has just signed a contract with Bethany
House to write a book on prayer. She is excited to see what God will do through
this life-giving message. 
She and her husband are also launching Life Bridge
Church on January 31, 2016 in Frisco Texas (north of Dallas). 
Presently they
are gathering a group of 100 innovative leaders to help us build a bridge and
connect people to purpose.
Visit her Website: SueDetweiler.com

PS: This post is part of the Blog Tour for the book

If you enjoyed this post, sign up and download free resources here.


I am linking here:
Monday: Good Morning Mondays, Soul Survival, Inspire me Mondays, Literacy Monday musings,  Art of Home Making#Life Giving, Raising Samuels, Encourage Me

Tuesday: Tell Me a True StoryTestimony Tuesday, Intentional Tuesday, #RaRa, United Linky, SDGgathering

Wednesday: Women with intention, RH linkup, WFMW, Wise Woman Linkup

Thursday: Live free Thursday, Thankful ThursdayShine Blog Hop, EverydayJesus

Weekend:  Five Minute FridayFaith and FellowshipFaith ‘n’ FriendsDance with Jesus GMGGrace and Truth Linkup

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18 thoughts on “Why Do Marriages Get Stuck in Survival Mode? By Sue Detweiler”

  1. Every newly married couple need to attend a marriage conference or read a book like this one. There are ways to speak without conflict, and some do not know any other method. Thanks for sharing this wonderful information with us here at Tell me a Story.

  2. Sue, your words and wisdom are such a treasure. And Ifeoma, it is always a blessing to visit with you, Beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing! GOD bless you both! 🙂

  3. These were some powerful words in such a short blog post! Thanks so much for sharing about this book at Booknificent Thursday at Mommynificent.com this week! Always love to have your contributions! (Would you mind adding Booknificent Thursday to your list of link-ups? I'd appreciate it so much!)

  4. Sounds like a wonderful book! What a powerful thing once we learn to accept our spouse the way God made them, and ultimately, what we loved about them in the first place! Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂

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