One Sunday morning, as my husband and I prepared for church, we discussed as usual. Suddenly, our conversation took an unusual turn. Our hearty talk became one of unraveling emotions.
Obi shared his feelings of hurt and disappointment he had been going through. He had struggled to deal with it alone but now he needs to share his burden. As women we easily express our emotions. This does not come easily for most men. Men are good at internalizing their hurt and mask their feelings.
“Thoughtful questions for Wives:
Is your husband hiding his feelings of hurt?
Can he confide in you to share his emotions?”
We all have our own way of responding or reacting to hurt and disappointment. As wives, we need to understand that sometimes our spouses become grumpy as a result of hurting experience they are going through.
Don’t allow hurt go unnoticed or slip through the cracks.
It takes wisdom to discern deep emotions our spouses are going through.
The story of Abigail and David readily comes to mind.
Bible Reading: (I Samuel 25:1-40)
David had been hurt by Nabal’s attitude towards him. He felt his kindness was taken for granted. Vengeance was the only thing David could think about. David’s hurt attracted varying forces of emotions and actions duly interrupted by Abigail’s wisdom.
What can we learn from David’s Hurting experience?
Hurt breeds anger and resentment.
Hurt can lead to vengeance.
Hurt can lead to unforgiveness.
Hurting people make unhappy home.
Hurt can wreck a home.
How can you help a hurting spouse?
I love the wisdom of Abigail in saving the situation. What can we learn from her?
1. Listen: As my husband narrated his experience, he expressed his anger and managed to put his emotions into words. Just the way Abigail, listened to the young men that worked with her husband, we must learn the act of listening.
Rapt attention and being compassionate enough to understand their
emotions can relief a hurting spouse.
2. Be careful what you say: Truthfully, any word in response to their feelings may either inflict more wound or soothe their pain.
3. Calm whirling emotions: In the midst of the conversation, find a safe spot to relief your spouse especiallywhen negative words begin to proceed. A deeply hurt person easily succumbs to negativity and this is not helpful at all.
4. Discourage any immediate response to the situation: Like Abigail, we should seek the way
of peace and allow vengeance to be God’s business. A quick response based on anger may be an entirely foolish decision. Remember,
An emotional person is less likely to think things straight.
5. Choosing Forgiveness: Many deep seated hurt results in unforgiveness and bitterness. Abigail resulted in showing David reasons to allow God fight for him and letting go of unforgiveness. We should walk with our hurting spouses through this difficult path.
6. Prayer: The key to unlocking closed doors is the place of prayer. Hurt from the past
may rear up in your home and often this has nothing to do with you as a wife.
Unhealed and Wounded hearts may exhibit negative behaviors
towards those around them.
Related Article: 7 Prayers for the Hurting Wife What can Prayer do? Prayer goes a long way to help a hurting spouse. God can reveal the secrets of the wounded heart.
It is only God that can heal a wounded heart.
He alone can bind up the brokenhearted. Join me and Lets say this prayer for hurting
♥ Prayer for peace in their hearts: Father, grant that my hurting husband may find peace. May your calming and refreshing water of life flow into his life in Jesus Name.
Great peace have they which love thy
law: and nothing shall offend them.Psalm 119:165
♥ Prayer of comfort for the wounded in spirit: Holy Spirit, comfort my husband. You know the pain he is going through and understand how wounded his heart is. Let your comforting grace wrap him and flood him with your peace in Jesus Name.
A merry heart maketh a cheerful
countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Proverbs 15:13
♥ Prayer for forgiving a heart. Help him to forgive those who have offended him so that he in turn may receive forgiveness. Help him lord to let go and embrace you wholeheartedly. Help him to understand that you are the only one in his life who would not disappoint him.
So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should
be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
2 Corinthians 2:7
♥ Prayer of self control or temperance: Lord, grant him a temperate heart. Holy Spirit, help him to control his emotions in Jesus name.
He that is slow to anger is
better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a
city. Proverbs 16:32
♥ Prayer for settling situations: Father, you are the way maker and the solution giver, in you we find solution to every problem. In Jesus name I declare that the source of my husband wounded heart be settled today.
The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as
be of a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18
♥ Prayer for Healing. Every wound needs healing. Lord Jesus, heal the broken hearted in Jesus Name.
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
♥ Prayer of restoration and joy. Lord, restore overflowing joy into the life of my husband in Jesus Name.
But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in
thy salvation. Psalm 13:5
Have you or your spouse experienced hurt? How did you walk through this experience? I love to hear your experiences see you in the comment section.